Bridget Moans

Posted on June 25, 2008 in Uncategorized

I am aware that I can be a bit of a whinger at times. So I’m going to try and be positive for a change, pro-active even. This month, instead of moaning about the lack of men, I’m actually going to try and bag a bachelor! Never mind all that “it happens when you’re not looking for it” rubbish. “Good things come to those who wait” may apply to Guiness but not, in my experience, to men. The time has come to grab the bull by the proverbial horns.
   We’ve already established that Nigel from IT isn’t an option (unless you’ve downed a bottle of wine and a few too many sambucas at the office party). So what else is on offer? You can always cast your eye about the bars and clubs but, sadly, aside from the Guiness, most things you pull in a bar are pretty unsatisfying. And then, of course, there’s the internet dating phenomenon, guaranteeing you the attentions of at least one stalker and several 40-year-old divorcees whose preferred age-range is 18 to 30.
     Weighing up these tantalising options, another thought struck me. If you work in publishing, what better place to scout out the talent than a bookshop? You may not be able to judge a book by its cover, but maybe you can judge a man by his books. After roaming around several bookshops, I can even share a few tips on bookshop flirting etiquette:
 
  1. Don’t stand near the Ann Summers sex tips books. Most people browsing this section will already have a partner. If not, they might not be the kind of person you’ll want to get to know better.
  2. Choose your bookshop section based on the kind of person you’re after, taking care to weigh up the pros and cons before moving in for the kill. Examples:
Health and Fitness – well-toned hotty / vain poser
Crime – intelligent, curious mind / murderous psychopath
Travel Section – adventurous jet-setter / work-shy hippy waster

 

  1. Think of a question you can ask to get the ball rolling. Preferably one that doesn’t make you look stupid. I found “Ooh George Elliot. He’s good. Know any other books by him?” doesn’t work particularly well.
  2. Do NOT hang around the self-help section perusing “How to get laid” guides. Apparently a tad too obvious.
 
I’ll be honest, so far the only guy who has gazed at me across the bookshelves is the man behind the counter who, after watching me desperately loitering for an hour, clearly suspected me of trying to shoplift. Still, I’m confident I will find myself an eligible bookworm soon. Then I’ll have to think of something else to moan about…