An SYP Christmas Q & A
Posted on December 10, 2007 in Uncategorized
Hello, it’s me again. I did some digging around, after all, that’s what Doggz do (see what I did there) and I unearthed this precious juicy bone!
It’s a textsession with some of the more gregarious SYP Committee members, spilling their innermost desires (all nicely coded into an innocuous little Question and Answer session). I’m off to scratch my balls! Have a good one!
— Hound
SYP Santa: Ho! Ho! Ho! A little bit of a Christmas Q and A session with the outgoing SYP Committee. I sat them down on my Santa knee and asked them four questions. Right, pass the gin, you bastard little elf! This Wallace fella’s a bit tricksy!
Doug Wallace, Chair
If you could have one thing for Christmas, what would it be?
A turdunken for Christmas dinner (A chicken stuffed in a duck stuffed in a turkey wrapped in bacon.)
What drink would you prefer to be holding as Big Ben chimes New Year in?
It’s my birthday, so a double party.
If you could be snogging one person at this time, who would it be?
How old are you, SYP Santa? This isn’t Blind Date and you’re not Cilla Black.
You miserable git. Fine, What would be your ideal Christmas Day television?
Off.
I thought so. Next!
Claire Shanahan, Vice Chair
If you could have one thing for Christmas, what would be it be?
A weekend break to Valencia/Reykjavik/Edinburgh for about March time.
What drink would you prefer to be holding as Big Ben chimes New Year in?
Champagne dahhhling.
If you could be snogging one person at this time, who would it be?
Santa.
Ah, right! Good, good. Now, what would be your ideal Christmas Day television?
TOTP Christmas Special, Mary Poppins and Grease 1 (all Christmas rituals in my house), followed by box sets of Lost Series 3 and Heroes Series 1.
Well, I have a home video you may be interested in, my dear. Come this way… Oh wait, here’s another one. Um, I’ll see you on Christmas day!
Kevin Mahoney, Web Content Editor
Right, your turn. If you could have one thing for Christmas, what would be it be?
A million quid is the honest, albeit unrealistic answer.
Don’t ask for much! What drink would you prefer to be holding as Big Ben chimes New Year in?
A cup of tea. I’ll be Down Under for the New Year, so I’m hoping that I won’t be in that bad of a shape when Big Ben Chimes, although a few hangover cures may come in handy.
Preferably my girlfriend Michelle. Although since she’s going to be back in Blighty, it’s gonna have to be one hell of a long distance snog.
You could try a webcam, if you like. I’ll put that on your list. Have you been a good boy? What would be your ideal Christmas Day television?
This programme also makes a hilarious Xmas cracker joke:
Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Doctor.
Doctor Who?
I rest my case.
No it doesn’t! Good grief! Elf, where is that gin, you pointy little git! I need it after that!
Sumaiyah Moolla, Treasurer
Right, now, don’t tell any jokes! Where was I? Where’s my drink? Ah yes. If you could have one thing for Christmas, what would it be?
Tickets for a round-the-world trip.
What drink would you prefer to be holding as Big Ben chimes New Year in?
A virgin cocktail – surprise me.
Rather difficult with you on my knee dear! Ho! Ho! Ho! If I was fifty years younger, maybe. If you could be snogging one person at this time, who would it be? Me?
Was going to say Emile Hirsch, but found out he’s practically only just out of his teens, so either Joaquin Phoenix or Hiro from Heroes.
Well, you try working day a year! Does nothing for your waistline. Those little heartthrob bastards! What would be your ideal Christmas Day television?
The Sound of Music, a really dramatic EastEnders (preferably where someone dies), The Goonies, X Factor final, classic Only Fools & Horses, Buzzcocks, Little Miss Sunshine – I could go on…
Claire Morrison, Membership Secretary
If you could have one thing for Christmas, what would be it be?
Standing tickets for Bruce Springsteen’s May 08 stadium gig (I got seated ones!)
What drink would you prefer to be holding as Big Ben chimes New Year in?
Champagne.
If you could be snogging one person at this time, who would it be?
My boyfriend, wait that’s so unimaginative… Alan Rickman (don’t ask!) or David Tennant , whichever is available on New Year’s Eve!
What would be your ideal Christmas Day television?
I’m looking forward to the Doctor Who Special – obviously, but I think some Only Fools and Horses (classic Christmas TV), EastEnders specials (something bad always happens at Christmas) and a cheesy film, maybe Love Actually. Nothing too taxing.
Mia Kilroy, SYP Secretary
If you could have one thing for Christmas, what would be it be?
Ewan McGregor.
What drink would you prefer to be holding as Big Ben chimes New Year in?
A Black Russian with a Guinness head.
If you could be snogging one person at this time, who would it be?
Ewan McGregor.
What would be your ideal Christmas Day television?
Monty Python’s Life of Brian.
Victoria Hunt, InPrint Editor
If you could have one thing for Christmas, what would be it be?
Financial security (that covers the perfect man too).
What drink would you prefer to be holding as Big Ben chimes New Year in?
The drink belonging to the perfect man, so that he can be holding me and only me.
If you could be snogging one person at this time, who would it be?
The guy whose drink I’m holding, otherwise that could get confusing.
Er, yes. What would be your ideal Christmas Day television?
I would want the TV schedule be totally unappealing so I wouldn’t be tempted to squander my day watching it and would instead bury myself in lots of lovely books that I will no doubt have been given, or play silly games with family/friends/neighbours/dog. Especially the dog.
Jenny Rowley, Press Officer
If you could have one thing for Christmas, what would be it be?
A skiing holiday. Materialistic I know but true.
What drink would you prefer to be holding as Big Ben chimes New Year in?
A pint of Leffe or a glass of ‘sea-dark’ wine (just humour me!)
If you could be snogging one person at this time, who would it be?
That fit (alcoholic) Irish guy… Jonathan Rhys Meyers I think.
What would be your ideal Christmas Day television?
None. I’d rather be in a muddy field.
Ah! Suit yourself! Blood cold out there, don’t say I didn’t warn you! Next!
Nora Mahony, Jobs Co-Ordinator
Jobs, eh? I might be looking for one soon! Ho ho ho! Bloody Amazon! Right! If you could have one thing for Christmas, what would be it be?
The keys to my first home. What drink would you prefer to be holding as Big Ben chimes New Year in?
Guinness. If you could be snogging one person at this time, who would it be?
My boyfriend . . . or Denzel. I’m not fussy. Denzel?! Why I know him well and he’s as old as me! If he had my worrying addiction to mince pies and a white beard, we’d see! Do tell, what would be your ideal Christmas Day television? A CSI marathon.
So you want to watch people getting narked. On Christmas Day. First EastEnders, now this. I fear for us! I do. Elf, fetch in the next one.
Paul Campbell, Web Development
If you could have one thing for Christmas, what would be it be?
A computer that actually works.
What drink would you prefer to be holding as Big Ben chimes New Year in?
A caipirinha.
If you could be snogging one person at this time, who would it be?
Ideally: Keely Hazell. Realistically: anyone who’s not hideous or about to be sick.
I see! Well, whatever floats your boat, young man! What would be your ideal Christmas Day television?
Dylan Moran or an equally grumpy stand-up comedian.
Another grump, eh? On Christmas Day? Bah! Well, it looks like there’s a latecomer waiting to get on my knee. He’s a big lad! What’s your name? Jon you say? Sit down! Elf, get him a drink.
Jon Slack, Social Secretary
If you could have one thing for Christmas, would would be it be?
A sky-diving session over the Lake District, or somewhere warmer like Milton Keynes.
What drink would you prefer to be holding as Big Ben chimes New Year in?
For reliability it would have to be my trusted mix JB bourbon and coke… I’m up for a decent sober-bashing pint of cocktail this year though, for a bit of variety… something with lots of rum, sugar and whiskey.
Good, good. I like a bit of spirit, eh lad! Good grief, you’re a bit heavy on my knee. If you could be snogging one person at this time, who would it be?
Does this have to be a keep-it-real snog…? As I’m sure you know Christina Ricci is more or less my ‘in papers’ girl of the moment… Chime-time ‘snogs’ seem to be an element of make-believe I only ever see on TV and in happy dreams. I know you empathise.
Yes, I do. I do. I spend my New Year with Elf, getting battered. So, what would be your ideal Christmas Day television?
If I was strapped to a chair and told it could prevent global warming it would be an uninterrupted combo of Mighty Boosh, The Day Today, Alan Partridge and general Steve Coogan stuff, a splash of Top Gear and that Extras special which looks pretty special… some Mock the Week and Derren Brown for balance… and Gordon Ramsey; love or hate it the man’s a genius.
He’s another bloody grump, that’s what! And that’s yer lot, folks! I’m off to get drunk as a skunk! I hope you have fun! Come along Elf! We’ll teach these publishing young ‘uns how to drink!
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